Like so many who have discovered the
Fleshlight ?, it’s truly a life-changing device. I’m in my mid-40s, out of shape from working 10-12 hour days, prostate and erectile problems combined with no insurance to fix them left me not wanting to go near the wife… for years. Yes, I said years. No libido, no interest.
I hate watching those damn flomax/gotta piss because they’re stupid and embarassing to watch in mixed company. Then on any sports event or evening show, you’ll see a half dozen cialis/viagra/levitra commercials every hour, you know the ones where the rich 59-year old yuppie is getting ready to bang his hot second wife, who doesn’t look a day over 31. Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck looking at a fat slob who thinks it’s acceptable to burp and fart after dinner, and sometimes during.
It’s all enough to give you a permanent soft-on. Now I laugh at those commercials because they’ve got it all so wrong.
I’d always heard good things about Fleshlight ?, so I got some extra money and took a chance. Here’s my story since.
First, I’ve banged over 200 women in my day. I started young at 14 and didn’t stop until I was 35. From every shape, from petite to BBW, I enjoyed most, but there were only 3-4 that truly stood out. I have been living off those memories ever since. After I got older, I didn’t want these older broads, with their guts, flappy tits, and stretch-marked beer guts. My tastes were still stuck on the hot young babes I banged back in the day, even though I know I could no longer have them. (I didn’t do the pathetic "divorce the wife for the younger gal, buy a sports car, and hand all my money over to the courts" thing like my relatives have all done.)
Second, in comes Fleshlight ? to my life and it’s the real deal. It doesn’t need hype at all. But anything you can say about it, I will agree. Those top 3-4 babes I banged? Fleshlight ?’s sleeves can match every one (except for the monster tits on two of them). It’s far better than most women could ever think about being, and without all the mess, fuss, emotions, smells, effort, cost, arguments, queefs, farts, PMS, and so on.
Third, I love porn ?. I’m the only person I know who openly admits it and is proud of it. With Fleshlight ? I can play a scene in any movie ? and mimic the strokes of the porn ? star banging the babe. I can watch a blowjob ? scene and adjust my Fleshlight ? so that it feels better than any blowjob ? I’ve ever received. (And most women hate giving them.)
Fourth, I’m well-endowed (9.5" length, 8" circumference, uncut w/a very long foreskin even with an erection), so I’ve never lacked for a gal wanting a jump to see what a big dick is like. I’m happy to oblige as long as the woman is nice-looking and has any skill. But most gals are terrible in bed. They complain about men all the time to their girlfriends, but they themselves make no effort to understand how to ? really please a man. To them, it’s all about making them cum, which involves oral Sex ?. I stopped eating girls out after my teen years. It didn’t turn me on and most weren’t as clean as they thought. Most guys would lie about having a big dick; excuse me, exaggerate their size, but I’m not. Sex ? with most women turned into an argument over my size, which I always thought was bullshit. A Pussy ? can stretch a mile before it tears an inch, and I thought most were faking it. The girls who could take a big cock the best ?? The petite skinny ones! The worst? A good number of the BBWs I’d been with. You figure it would be the exact opposite, but that’s not the case. If one could take the width, another couldn’t take the length, and vice versa. Most women can’t feel a thing past three inches anyway to achieve orgasm. Past that, they’re feeling fullness, and 99% of women don’t buy big vibrators for themselves. They buy ordinary or small ones. That should tell you that except for the visual impression a big dick makes, size is overrated. If you’re also well-endowed, trust me, the Fleshlight ? can take every inch of you. No need to worry. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong. Remember that.
Finally, Fleshlight ? can change societies if you let it. I truly believe that. It can:
- Directly improve your Stamina ?.
- Make any virgin a cocksman with practice.
- Put the escort business out of business.
- Hell, if they gave fleshlights ? to Sex ? offenders, I promise it would reduce Sex ? crimes overnight and permanently!
- Save men fortunes in a wide variety of ways in relation to women.
- Make being single fun, or being a widow, or hell, even a randy old nursing home resident!
- Make you laugh at middle-aged women who think they’re hot. You know that technology can do for you what her flaccid tits, pooch belly, and slack, drooping cunt never can!
- Control prison populations. Give every prisoner a Fleshlight ?. If they misbehave, take it away. I guarantee they’ll all be perfect angels after being without it for a week.
I might even start having
Sex ? with my wife again. But I ain’t NEVER giving up my
Fleshlight ?!
